


nobody said it was easy (no one ever said it would be this hard)

by RowanQuinn



Category: The Maze Runner (2014), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I can't stop, I'm so sorry, M/M, Pining, Sad, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, i shouldn't but, oh my god what am I doing, subtle mention of past attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-13
Updated: 2014-10-13
Packaged: 2018-02-21 02:40:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2451668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RowanQuinn/pseuds/RowanQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s easy to like Newt. It’s easy to be around him, to want to make him laugh, and to touch that soft skin of his. It has always been easy to <i>love</i> him and maybe that’s the reason why Minho is broken-hearted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	nobody said it was easy (no one ever said it would be this hard)

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my first language, so, I'm sorry for any mistakes (if you find them, please, let me know, maybe? Uh).  
> Title comes from the song The Scientist, by Coldplay.  
> And, oh god, I'm so sorry I did this to you, Minho. I'm so sorry.

Loving is never easy. Once you’re born, you don’t know it yet, but you’re doomed to love. You’re doomed to want and to wish, and to love and to cry, and you’re doomed to have your heart broken over and over again. And every time, doesn’t matter how much you tell yourself it’s not going to happen again, you will fall in love for another person, and your world will be brighter and darker and everything will turn to chaos another time. One more.

But even when your heart break — and it does, again and again and again —, you can’t stop it. Every time you feel those damned butterflies in your stomach, and your hands tremble, and the words are at loss. You look at the person whom you’re falling for and you wish you could just stare at their eyes — their beautiful, amazing eyes — forever.

Minho knows it. And, God, he tells himself it’s going to be okay, he knows it is, but every time Newt smiles — that bright, sweet smile — and it isn’t to him; Minho feels himself crumbling. He feels himself being ripped apart because it’s hard not to like Newt. Since the beginning. It was always easy to have him around, it was easy to want to make him laugh, and to touch that soft skin of his. It was always easy to _love_ him and Minho will never forgive himself for falling so fast, so deep.

He’s not going to say he doesn’t think Newt could like him this way. He knows it was a possibility and maybe — maybe that’s what hurts the most. He knows Newt thinks he’s pretty, he knows Newt thinks he’s funny, and he knows Newt likes him. Just not enough. Newt _loves_ him, but not in the way Minho has always wanted, not in the way he wishes, wants, needs. And it’s so despairing, it makes him so _miserable_ — because he was there, all the time, trying to make things better and it still didn’t matter. Because him saying it would be okay maybe hadn’t sounded true to Newt; maybe he didn’t believe his own words at all.

It’s been a few months since the accident. Newt’s doing better now, and it isn’t because of him; it has never been. And Minho may be a selfish prick, but he knows that Thomas is the best thing that could’ve ever happened. Thomas gives Newt a reason to keep going, he gives Newt a reason to believe tomorrow will be better. This is what he’d tried to do all the time, isn’t it? But Minho isn’t good at saving people. He can’t save not even himself, why did he thought he would succeed in saving Newt?

Maybe because he wanted to. Maybe because, more than anything, he wanted to be the one to bring Newt out of that black abyss he’d drowned himself. Maybe because he wanted his love to be the light ripping off the darkness of Newt’s heart.

He sighs. What a silly thing, isn’t it? Thinking you’re the one. Thinking you’re supposed to be someone’s knight in a shining armor. Thinking about how things could go, about how the two of you could be happy together — giving yourself hope. Because, in the end, it turns against you, and burns you from inside out. It takes everything you’ve ever dreamed of and throws at your face, calling you weak, telling you’re not and never will be enough.

Or maybe it’s just him. Maybe Minho is the one who dramatizes things. It isn’t the end of the world, after all. He got rejected before he could even talk about his feelings. It’s a funny thing, isn’t it? It should be. God, it should be, but why isn’t he fucking laughing?

Minho wishes he could just slim it. Or cry. Or fucking do something to make his chest stop hurting. Still, if he searches carefully inside him… There’s nothing. Just plain sadness. Newt was never his to begin it, right? He can’t lose something he's never had.

And, if he thinks a bit more about it… He should feel happy about Newt’s wedding ring.

Shouldn’t he?

That’s what friends do, right?

(Right?)


End file.
